Hurt People Who Hurt People and How to Overcome Them
Marcus Aurelius
“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury”
You’re thinking of someone right now, aren’t you?
Someone who did you so, so dirty.
They hurt you to your core.
The pain consumed hours of your day.
Every day.
You over-analyzed the situation in your head.
Replaying it over and over.
What do you do?
How do you make this okay again?
How do you make YOU okay again.
It’s only natural to think that one course of action to this hurt is revenge. To give back the hurt they’ve served to you, right? It’s only fair.
But what if there is an alternative option?
When someone is mean to you, I think the natural reaction is to defend yourself. You’re going to
want to jump up and down screaming why they are wrong. How they have lied to hurt you
and/or your character. How they have deliberately misconstrued reality to make you look a fool
and why that is wrong.
Don’t.
Perhaps you want to clap back and shout back all of their flaws, all of their secrets.
Don’t.
Maybe you want to match their energy and do them as dirty as they have done you.
Don’t.
When we encounter people that don’t treat us or others well, they are hurt people who, guess
what, HURT PEOPLE. And why would you want to be like those that hurt you? I think the goal is
to be completely the opposite of those that hurt you. And that means you don’t give them a taste
of their own nasty medicine.
In fact, I would suggest you cut your connection to that person completely (if and when you are
safely able to do so).
Don’t do the back-and-forth petty nonsense otherwise known as mudslinging. You and many others will end up terribly dirty and that mud won’t wash off easy.
Don’t try to reason with them through further communication if it is clear they refuse to acknowledge their bad behavior and the harm it causes.
Don’t one-up them. Often, that only proves to prolong your own suffering. If someone consistently and intentionally attempts to hurt, slander, or humiliate you, why would you want that connection to continue any longer than it has to?
Don’t make the mistake I’ve made, thinking that if I just show them over and over that I can be
the bigger person and kill them with kindness, that maybe they might see my worth and stop
treating me poorly.
News flash, they won’t.
When people do mean things to me, personally, I try to put something kind back into the world instead of spewing more negativity into it. Donate, pay someone a compliment, volunteer, or even just take yourself on an “I love me” date to the coffee shop.
I have also found that the gym and working out is an incredibly healthy outlet for your anger, rage, hurt, whatever bad thing you are feeling! Let the aggression out safely and benefit yourself at the same time.
Gather up the stones and bricks they throw and build yourself a glorious castle. Invite some kind
friends over for wine afterwards and remember your worth!
The best revenge is your own success and happiness.
I am not a healthcare professional. I am purely speaking from my own learned experience. If
you are struggling with abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationships, please seek professional
assistance and guidance.
Written By: Brooke Hess